You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
