yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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