Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
