Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
