just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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