your thong is hanging out like whoa
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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