Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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