Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
