i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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