everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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