I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize