The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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