their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
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