Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
