Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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