I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize