Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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