If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
