Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
