This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
