Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You're completely useless in the revolution.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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