I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize