so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
