I'm going to rape someone's good day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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