what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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