I'm going to rape someone's good day.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize