Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
