Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize