ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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