just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
