I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
