I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.