Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....