At least make sure they are 18
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.