I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
