my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
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Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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