Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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