final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize