My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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