it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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