I need help removing her.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
