I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
