i think my tv is drunk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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