i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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