just tell him i said nine months
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
