I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
