Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
