I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
