Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
