well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
