A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
