You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
