My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
