New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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