Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
