My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize