there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention