Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica