Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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