so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.