Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE