its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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