...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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