shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So many bounce houses so little time
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
