I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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