He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
God, I missed his penis.
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