If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
